JUDGE

RATING

COMMENTS

01-Michael Spencer

4

Poor recording makes listening kind of annoying, hard to appreciate the talent I know he has

03-David Tallent

1

Critique: Intro "strained" with pauses...could almost picture player struggling to get his fingers in the right place before picking strings. Vocals way to hot - distoted and overdriven. Simplistic and repetitious lyrics. Very badly produced to the point I couldn't listen to it all.

04-Nancy G. Brundrett

4

Paul, I still find it hard to listen to your songs because the sound quality needs to be improved. You need to think about what the listener will hear. Some places in your song the sound is distorted and that distracted me from what you were trying to tell me in your song. I would love to hear your songs if they were done in a studio with a fuller sound. I remember your song entry in the other intra-contest and I have to say you have improved some of the sound and recording quality, but still you need to dig in and develop them more. Your lyrics are good, but you are the messenger of music here and you might think of improving your mode of delivery..

06-Jim Gietzen (JimmyZ)

6

Although the recording could be better, you have good lyrics and the tune has a hook. Song has potential.

07-Michael Flanagan (Hazelglow)

1

Umm, this sounds like an accidentally recorded practice session where you were still in the throws of writing the song, experimenting as you went. Remember, for somebody listening, what they hear in that four minute experience constitutes everything they know about you, and so you really shouldn’t make it such hard work for a judge! Plus the distorted recording quality made it a real struggle too. I’m also not sure about the endless "I’ll see you where the sun meets the shade" phrases - is that all actually part of the intended song or were you just practicing that bit over and over again? I couldn’t make out much of the other lyrics unfortunately. In general, have you thought about dropping your average singing pitch about half an octave? I think you would sound better, instead being up high struggling on the edge of your range. Sorry, basically I was just completely lost…

08-Todd Vandemark

7

The more I visit Paul’s web page, the more I realize what a prolific writer he is (28 songs +) Definitely has original style. Need to cut the ending, or perhaps fade at the end of this one. Clean up the guitar where it stutters a bit and you’d have a fine song. You should grab your best 4 or 5 tunes and go into the studio. A diamond in the rough, I think.

09-Mikhail Pesok (Sand)

2

Alas, the recording makes it impossible to enjoy this song. The guitar work is poor and the rhythm is completely lost because of it. The voice is winy (which is fine), reminds me of Smashing Pumpkins, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for this acoustic piece. Heavy metal or punk rock sound will suit this voice much better, I think.
I would avoid some sudden pomposity expressed by "abandon all fate, coz were all part of a fading parade". The lyrics sound like "Mother Nature’s Son" by the Beatles meets "Sad but True" by Metallica – way too inconsistent. This should be a rather gentle song, like one of the acoustic songs by Yes. "Sun" is the favorite theme of Jon Anderson, the singer of Yes – your lyrics are quite reflective of his works.

10-Bobby Caputo (Bobbio)

4

Title peaks interest, but no light is shed on what it means..what's it all about?...

12-Markus Lorber

4.5

Nice folk tune, guitar playing sounds a little clumsy (especially the "intro" and the "outro"
I couldn't get the words (maybe because of the digital clipping appearing the whole song through).

13-Doogle

6

This is a wierd one. Essentially it has a good melody and lyric, but
this is almost hammered to death and gets a bit annoying. I like the
solo guitar work and but it is strange how the song stop dead after
a minute and a bit starts up again. You have a good voice, but every
time I hear you it seems to get higher , I think you should sing lower
and this would help present the song better.

14-Don Lyman

4

Muddy mix, strained vocals. Hard to under- stand lyrics because of sound quality. Guitar seems halting, stimbling in spots. Chorus too long (repeats title too much), but I liked the vocals on the chorus - voice on chorus sounds like Paul McCartney.

15-Painter

7

The song has lovely feeling and melody. Handsome voice! The sound is too distorted, but if that, and the guitar work perfected, song would be great. Also, meld the choppy parts to add to a better flow. Good work