ARTIST & SONG

RANK
on 3

RATING

COMMENTS

01-Lee Alexander
Someday

02-Melina
Oedipus Rex

03-Joe Huettner

04-Mike Tricker
Lifetime of Love

05-David Tallent
Don't Run Away

06-Alex Calvo
Anaconda

3

6.5

 i hate assigning numerical values...

nice progression... but i'd like to hear some further elaboration... my suggestions (which obviously you're free to ignore) - either 1) add a B section or chorus - add a chunky, fat bass and hard-hitting drums, and go for the metal/punk renaissance thing (could still be down-tempo) or

2) modulate the dynamic of the song by elaborating the arrangements, ie adding even more texture in sections, progressively - i personally REALLY liked the vocal effects in this song... i think you could swing even more in that direction - add some electronic/dub/techno rhythms (or dark industrial techno - a la NIN or marilyn manson), samples, etc...

either way, i'd contrast the (imo very successful) airy/electro vocals with other, darker + thicker textures.

on its own, a nice melody + progression, but needs some further development.

07-Nancy G. Brundrett
Lost and Found

08-Don Lyman
I Am here

09-Robert Field
What She Said

10-Jeremy Haynes
Piety and Greed

1

8

 -exemplar pop song - recalls, to me, chicago, elton john, phil collins... well sung, though i agree with comments about 'muddiness' of production...

-though "piety and greed" works (in terms of singability and phonics, etc.) in the chorus, i'd think about maybe using a different title - there's something a bit off-putting (to me) about it - what, ok, what is it... sounds a little archaic, maybe? now that i think about it, i'm not sure that the story as told in the verses helps to explain *why* "it's all piety and greed"... this may be clear to someone who's experienced a divorce, and enough to evoke the associations you're making, but not to me, anyway...

notwithstanding that one quibble, this is a well-planned, well-developed song that is internally cohesive (viz structure.)

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wanted to explain further what i wrote in my critique ...

the verses, to me, paint a picture of two people who are now strangers in their marriage, whose passion is lost to the routine everydayness of working a less-than fulfilling job (male) and of the wife's frustration of feeling trapped at home ... people who will survive, as you said...

piety and greed... ok, i guess i get it - the husband's view of the wife - a martyr (piety) - the wife's view of the husband - a selfish money-hungry jerk (greed) - or is it that you're saying that they objectively embody piety and greed - that the narrator is judging them to be equally self-serving?

i hope not, because you've managed to capture the sublety of the characters' experience in the verses - which to me, explain their frustration as a function of larger societal impositions... i think the chorus' pronouncements on the characters does a disservice to the good work done in the verses...

11-Joro
Chasing Sunsets

12-Hazelglow
Happy Just Being Here

2

7.5

 i really like the progression at the bridge/chorus. well-thought out, musically. Melody seamless viz progression. you know how i hear this? sped up, played as pop-punk with overdriven guitars, drums pounding a straight rhythm (not swung), more of a classic rock 4-4 feel... (something like sloan, if you know who that is, or even sum 41 ...) - well that's how i'd cover it anyways... didn't hear much of the lyrics..