INTRA-FORUM CONTEST #7

CRITIQUES OF DAVE C'S SONG

THE WORDS THAT I REHEARSE FOR YOU

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JUDGE

RATING

COMMENTS

01-Iggy
 

Strong Points: This is fairly well written song. Good structure, nice changes. Very decent drumming.
Weak Points: Performance, both vocal and guitar. But you knew that. I felt the lyrics were a bit unnatural. Does anyone really say it wraps me in this icy cage?
Summary: Good song with much potential. I could see this song going somewhere with some good production and tweaked lyrics.
05-Todd   Great drums, obviously live; Can hear the feel you are going for, little bluesy, little whimsical. Overall structure is good, but the chorus line "words that I reherse for you" seems out of place somehow. The build to it is excellent, though. Keep at it. This is the bones to something that could be great.
06-Bobbio   Doesn't feel done yet....jazz chords with a rock beat....interesting title, but the hook was weaker than I would have liked....song builds well...vocal has a Ray Davies quality to phrasing and the actual 'chops"...needs some dynamics...good start....
07-Jens   Your voice and singing reminds me of Bob Dylan - and your voice is poor?!
Well, I'm glad you entered, I felt a little outside among all these good singers ;-)
Your drums are good, the chords and the structure are ok.
I'm sure you have the whole song in your head, but you have a difficult time to
have your voice and the other instruments express what you want.
That's a pity.
I would like to hear the song in a good production. As it is now it is difficult to judge the melody itself, but I have some doubts about it.
Your lyric is far too difficult for me with danish as my mothertongue.
10-Kneena   A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
04-Markus   The verse's harmonies could make up a good song. But the melody line seems not to support them too much. Though the melody's rhythm is good! Maybe I would think different, if someone else would perform your song. I think I am tired now and I am not able to imagine this demo replaced by a better one within my head. Usually I can do this, but now after listening to all the entries... sorry.
Keep up trying, there is a lot of potential! Someone could do worse things than writing songs!

Ahh!!! And I love the lyrics. Don't know if I really get them, but there are some beautiful lyrical pictures in them. I could need some coffee,too, now, which warms the cold insinde my heart...

02-Nancy G. Firefly   Dave C, I loved your song very much. All these songs are buttering me up for Valentine's day...although I don't like Valentines Day, if you read my poem about this day you would understand.
"It's Just Another Day to Me"..
www.nancy-heartmusic.com
if you want to read my thoughts on "Hearts Day"....
I can feel your excitement in your song that you convey and it turns me on. This is a beautiful love song. It makes for a great Valentines Day song.
Thank you for sharing the sounds of your heart.

Firefly
08-Kris S   First off I would speed the tempo up the next time around. I liked the drums very much...they were live and in this day of samples and loops...that's a rare thing for a one man band. Your lyrics seem a little forced at times, but I got the message right away. The guitar is better then the last time I heard one of your songs and that's a VERY GOOD THING. I think if you up the tempo....this song will find some new life.
03-Brian   I liked the changes in the verse & the kind of "Who" feel in the bridge. I thought it was cool the way the song comes out of the bridge with one big chord chop & a rest. I was dissapointed in the choruses however. It seemed to me the verses had a lot stronger hook to them. I couldn't discern the melody during most of the chorus. Maybe needs a little more touching up. A lot of really cool elements going on, good feel as well. Sometimes it seemed a little odd that the mention of the song title in the lyrics didn't rhyme with what had gone before.